Parenting a Child Athlete
As a parent, supporting a child athlete can be a challenge and you may feel like you are always saying the wrong thing. You may feel like you are contributing to your child’s performance anxiety, even though you are just trying to support their goals and help them reach their potential.
When you are positive and encouraging, they may be upset you are not giving proper feedback on their performance; yet when you give feedback or ask questions, they may be upset that you didn’t think they did a good job. You may feel like you are in a no win situation and at a loss about what to say during those long car rides to and from practices and competitions.
You are not alone—most parents of child athletes, especially those at an elite level, struggle to find a balance between being supportive and providing resources that help them perform their best.
3 Ways You Can Support Your Child Athlete
1. Ask them what they need from you
Instead of assuming what actions you can take to support your child, ask them what support they need from you. If you develop a routine of asking your child what they need, this exercise will not only help your child to identify their needs, it will also encourage them to ask for support in the areas that need help. You may be surprised by what they say.
2. Avoid talking about money during competitions
Elite athletics require a lot of time and financial commitment. As a parent, you are likely sacrificing a lot in order to support your child’s passion, and it can be frustrating if you do not think they are giving their best effort in a competition. Avoid calculating the cost of each class or competition and sharing that with your child, and resist the urge to reward performance with money bonuses. These actions can add to the stress your child is already under and can heighten their feelings of disappointing you when they fail.
Have budget discussions prior to the season and involve the child (as much as is age appropriate) in the choices of which leagues, competitions, training, or other activities to select. Once you have made the commitment, set the money discussions to the side as much as possible and review at the end of the season.
3. Ask your child what they did well
It is human nature to focus on our mistakes, and your child will already be focusing on what they did wrong. Help your child athlete create the habit of first reflecting on what they did well and what parts of their performance they want to keep for next time—then they can think about the areas they would like to change or refine.
If you would like more information on how to support your child athlete or how sport psychology tools could be a benefit, contact Tonia at tonia@toniaandersonpsychology or book a free consultation today.