Parenting an Elite Athlete

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As I am sure many of the parents of the Paris Olympic athletes would agree, the stresses felt by parents of elite level athletes can be equal to or even higher than the athletes themselves at times. Wanting the best for your child, especially when you know how badly they want to achieve their goals, can make the failures even more heartbreaking.

Parents can struggle to support their child through the challenges, and it can feel like whatever you say or do is wrong. Have you ever had the experience where you say good job and your child gets upset because it was not good or that you are not giving enough feedback? Or you give some feedback and then they get upset that you are not being supportive or think they were not good enough?

Parents who have not been high performance athletes themselves, or even athletes at all, may have the additional challenge of not knowing what their child is experiencing in their sport or how to support them in the pursuit of their goals.

Here are 3 ways to help your elite athlete reach their peak potential:

Listen versus solve

As much as a parent would like to take away the pain and struggles of their child, often listening and providing emotional support can accomplish more in the long run than jumping in to solve the problem. Feeling heard and finding their voice is an important part of self development and gaining the interpersonal skills required to have effective conversations with coaches, teammates, and others (Roos et al., 2023).

Empower

Helping your child develop self-advocacy can build confidence and help them develop the skills to deal with challenges that arise (Masters, 2024). Instead of automatically providing the solutions to a problem, you can ask your child athlete what they see as their options and which option feels like the best fit.

Ask what they need

Instead of making assumptions of what you child athlete needs, you can ask—especially for competition days. I often hear from youth that they know their parents are trying to be supportive, but they are adding to the stress of game day. Children often struggle to ask for what they need and opening that conversation by asking them can help them feel comfortable.

Tonia Anderson is a Registered Psychologist (RPsych), former elite athlete and coach of high performance teams specializing in health and performance psychology. With over 25 years in peak performance, she has worked with junior, amateur, and professional athletes competing at local, provincial, national, and international levels including World Championships, Olympic Trials, Pan-Am Games, and more. Tonia brings the experience as a parent of top-level athlete who has represented Alberta and Canada on multiple occasions. Tonia works with youth, parents, business executives, emerging leaders, first responders and individuals wanting to achieve their sport, career, and life goals.

Book a free consultation to learn more about how to support your child athlete at  https://toniaandersonpsychology.janeapp.com or email tonia@toniaandersonpsycholocolgy.ca to get started.

References:

Masters, A. (February 7, 2024). The importance of self-advocacy in sports. iSport360. https://isport360.com/self-advocacy-in-sports/

Roos C.A, Postmes T, Koudenburg N.(2023). Feeling heard: Operationalizing a key concept for social relations. PLoS One.18(11): e0292865. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10688667/