The Challenge of Positive Thinking

Do you find negative thoughts about yourself creeping in even though logically you know they are not true? Have you put in the work, read a stack of self-help books, been committed to self-improvement for years, and maybe even gone to counselling, and the negative beliefs and self-doubt end up sabotaging your efforts? You are not alone, and there is a reason showing ourselves compassion is harder than it sounds.

Ever wonder why it is easier to encourage and believe in others than it is to believe in our own abilities? You have probably heard the phrase, “Treat yourself like you would treat a friend”. We know if a friend was having doubts and not feeling good enough, we would be their biggest cheerleader. Even though we know we should give ourselves the same encouragement, negative thoughts and self-criticism are hard to shake.

While positive self-talk, Post-it notes with inspiring quotes, and gratitude journaling can all help in the moment, the benefit tends not to last long-term. Many of our negative beliefs or thought patterns have been present for years; often originating from experiences in our adolescence or early childhood. Sometimes this occurs because we did not allow ourselves to feel and validate our emotions in the moment and instead shoved them away in a box in order to cope.

Setting our feelings and emotions aside until there is a more appropriate time to deal with them can be a valuable and appropriate skill. However, when we keep those emotions stuffed away and never go back to them in order to fully process our experience, these unprocessed emotions have an impact on our neural network and the way we respond to challenges in the future. It is important to give ourselves the opportunity to acknowledge and feel our emotions before moving on.

So, what about all those emotions you have been stuffing down for years? It is not too late to process emotions and trauma from our past. Looking for patterns in your self-doubt or self-judgment can help identify the negative beliefs about yourself that you have developed over the years. Core beliefs such as “I am not good enough” or “I am powerless” or even “I am responsible for everything” can serve as roadblocks to positive thinking.

Trauma-informed approaches, inner child work, and therapies such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) help individuals identify established negative core beliefs and strengthen adaptive, positive belief systems. Collaborating with a trained professional is recommended when revisiting emotional or traumatic experiences from our past in order to ensure you have the support you need while going through this process. Book an appointment with Tonia Anderson Psychology for help building a more positive outlook for the long term.