Things I wish I knew when I was 16
Free image from Pixabay
Every week in my practice, I am amazed by the speed at which youth can soak up knowledge and implement tools that significantly impact their self-worth, confidence, and ability to perform at their potential. I find myself thinking that I wish I knew these things at their age.
Mistakes are a necessary part of peak performance
We grow up learning that mistakes are to be avoided, when actually they are required for learning new skills. In fact, without mistakes, we are not getting better. Developing a new skill requires trial and error until we find what works for us. Celebrate your failures as a sign of improvement.
Struggles can be due to the delivery of the information
Teachers and coaches tend to instruct in a way that matches their own learning style or an approach that was used when they were students and coaches. The same teaching style does not work for everyone—we all learn differently. In high school, I thought I was not very good at physics because it was my lowest mark. Then I went to university and did very well in all of the physics courses I took because I was able to gain a solid understanding of the material in the way it was presented and with the practical labs included within the course. I needed to see how the material related to real life situations. If I had been empowered to ask for what I needed in high school, I may have been able to get my physics teacher to talk about more than just black holes!
Embrace your uniqueness
The desire to fit in and be like everyone else is common in our youth. Often it can feel too risky be to our authentic self. Many adults struggle with authenticity too. There is no one exactly like you, and that is a good thing—not something to hide. Being yourself will help you attract genuine, quality connections with others and help you excel in your career and sport.
Expressing emotion is healthy
It is common to receive the message that emotions are a weakness-especially in athletics. While being calm under pressure can be a skill that serves you in many circumstances, it is also important to make space for feelings, listen to your body, and give yourself permission to have emotions. Society often promotes happiness as a desirable and acceptable emotion when actually having a wide range of emotion experiences is important for our wellbeing.
Learning these skills and more can help youth increase confidence, improve self-esteem, and reach their potential. If you are an adult, it is never too late to acquire new skills and attain your goals.
Tonia Anderson is a Registered Psychologist (RPsych) specializing in health and performance psychology. With over 25 years of experience in peak performance, she has worked with junior, amateur and professional athletes competing at the local, provincial, national and international levels including World Championships, Olympic trials, Pan-Am Games, and more. Tonia works with business executives, emerging leaders, youth, and individuals wanting to achieve their career and life goals. Book a free consultation or email tonia@toniaandersonpsychology.ca to learn more and get started.